Keep going; it’s just a step.

So I did a super exciting vlog today that I can’t stop thinking about. You ever have those moments when you learn something new and you just want everyone to know about it? Like, everyone everyone. And that’s exactly how I feel right now.

I found a moment of understanding last night as I was writing down more ideas for future posts and YouTube videos. I didn’t think about what I would say or anything, just topics I wanted to discuss. So to my surprise, this morning as I told myself “it’s time to record” I just knew instantly. However I was getting ahead of myself. I wanted to try and do a morning routine that I set up with my newly made habit tracker. So let me recap quickly.

Saturday night I had made a very long list in my notes app about what I would like to accomplish not only on Sunday but throughout the week. I woke up yesterday in the early morning and I told myself “alright, lets do”. However I didn’t do much of anything on the list. I spent the whole day making these awesome printables! (That you can download here)


I made a new YouTube header and I made me a new phone screensaver. Boom. That was all of my day. I wanted to clean and do a bit more- however I didn’t. And that’s ok. I didn’t feel pressured by this list one bit. Because I knew I had time to complete it when I was ready. It wasn’t just my “Sunday list”. It was also my “weekly list” and that feels great to say. I didn’t feel pressured by my to-do list. I didn’t feel overwhelmed to complete everything in one day.

Which leads up to today. Today I woke up and I knew I had to get started on my YouTube videos. However I didn’t want to jump right into them. I was still waking up and my body didn’t want to leave the bed. So as I gathered myself up out of bed I started small. “Make coffee.” Boom. On to the next. And as I’m sitting there looking into my closet on what I want to wear, I noticed I didn’t do anything yet. I noticed myself skipping ahead, and I didn’t like that. So I just continued looking into my closet until I found something to wear. And then it hit me. I have this cool app that can help me stay focused. It’s called “Forest” and you set a timer to where you don’t look at your phone, and as the timer is going you in turn grow a tree! If you close out of the app, you kill the tree you were growing. And that seriously helped. (I have a future post about this app so no spoilers!) I set it for 25 minutes and I did everything I wanted to do before recording.

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I started the laundry, I made the bed, vacuumed my room, organized my shelves. Brushed my teeth and hair. Took my daily medication and my vitamins all in 25 minutes. And as soon as my app pinged to let me know my tree was done growing- I felt that good feeling. The good feelings that grew into a good day. And here I am now. Writing this out to you. I recorded my 22minute vlog about how I realized that everything is ok, as long as you know it’s ok. How you can invest all the underappreciated things in your life to make it a better one. And I felt even more excited that I have a great day ahead of me.

(You can find my vlog here! )


And as I was talking and talking the more I felt good. The more I wanted to jump right into the next thing I had planned and just keep going. It’s a great feeling to see yourself do just one tiny thing that makes you feel like you can do anything. Because that’s exactly how I feel. As though I could do anything. I have one other video planned for today so I need to work on that. And I also need to post “Week eight” for last weeks therapy visit. I have a ton I want to talk about from that session. So cheers, please remember that you are awesome, that you are TRYING and to keep going.

5 Self care tips for hygiene, when depressed!

I have a ton of self-care tips that I’ve tried to help myself feel better. However I’ve learned that each self care tip is different. Every time I’m depressed or anxious its hard to really know what you need, when you don’t know how to feel. So I’m excited to announce I will be posting new content about my self care tips! Self care tips to feel beautiful, self care tips to talk yourself up, self care tips to eating, and more!

Enjoy my first video, “5 Self Care tips for hygiene for when you’re depressed”! What have you done to make yourself feel “clean” while in an episode?


Why I do, what I want to do; About me VLOG!

Hey guys!

This isn’t that far in depth about my life personally, just some moments I had that really impacted me. And I wanted to share that with y’all. I will produce one about my depression also, but since my anxiety was a big part of my life I just had too.


My co-host Jaja has been a huge part of me the last few months and he’s made me think about getting into an emotional support animal(s). I’ve been doing research as well on how to become a trainer for therapy animals. So weird how much love I have for him, can make me think. Love u yaya. ❤

Thanks for watching!

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Why I want to do- what I want to do. (Video included!!)

Hello everyone! I’ve finally made my first YouTube video!! (in terms of a video blog!!)  I hope to take this as far as I can and get everything out there. This is something I’ve always wanted to do- and I thought gaming would be my choice. However I never found the “passion” for it. I’m all for having a good time with video games- but I never had the time or equipment to really record myself playing video games.

This speaks more to me. This is something… I’ve been waiting for. And it’s here!


I can’t wait to share all sorts of things with y’all!! It’s going to be fun, and less ranting in my blog posts. 🙂


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Goodbye alone time, hello outside world.

Today was my first day back at work after being gone for six weeks! I was extremely nervous to show up today, not knowing what to expect. And in all honestly, I wasn’t willing to work. I just wanted to stay home- even though I desperately needed something to do.

I didn’t have much of a routine like I wanted to this morning. The night before I had the urge to pick-up my room a little bit. And if you’re like me, you’ll get half way through it, sit down, and then lose all motivation to finish what you started. I told myself it would be wise to make a tiny to-do list to make myself feel better in the morning. Since I’m only working 6 hour shifts, I talked myself into thinking there would be “enough time” but there wasn’t. (HA) I ended up taking up most of my time just getting ready.

Overall today was a very stress free day. I was able to just focus on things that needed attention (machine status and order supplies) and some training. Working with some customers but not to many. It was such a good feeling. Some stuff had changed since I’ve been gone- which I’m surprised on. People leaving, some very quick updates on some policies and how we process items. And all the while, I felt no pressure. No “hurry and get this done”. No anxiousness. I shouldn’t soak to much of this in. I have a feeling I won’t feel this good for long.

Today also made me realize that I just want to stay home and not to anything. Just have the freedom to do the things I want when I’m ready. This feeling makes me want to work harder on the things I really want to do. Which is my blog and youtube and school. Knowing what you really want to do with your life is the best feeling ever. And I’m going to have to work very, very hard for these goals. I want to create my own lifestyle, doing all the things I want to do. Which is mostly reading, writing and drawing. And my new found- blogging and vlogging.

I told myself I had to write today because I felt great. However I spent the last three hours recording and editing (and reposting) my first youtube video which you can find here! I still have to post “week six” as well. It was a tough session and we didn’t talk much. So stay tuned for that post sometime tomorrow! (It’s midnight now. It’s been two weeks since I’ve stayed up this late!! )

Have y’all ever felt like you “belonged”? Or found the exact “thing” you never thought you’d do?


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