5 Self care tips for hygiene, when depressed!

I have a ton of self-care tips that I’ve tried to help myself feel better. However I’ve learned that each self care tip is different. Every time I’m depressed or anxious its hard to really know what you need, when you don’t know how to feel. So I’m excited to announce I will be posting new content about my self care tips! Self care tips to feel beautiful, self care tips to talk yourself up, self care tips to eating, and more!

Enjoy my first video, “5 Self Care tips for hygiene for when you’re depressed”! What have you done to make yourself feel “clean” while in an episode?

 

Take as long of a break as you need.

I would like to take a moment to day thank you to you all whom read this and my posts. I’ve noticed I honestly just write to feel better. Getting my thoughts and feelings into words was such a struggle for me in the past. I don’t know what I feared back then.. All I know is that its gone. The fear. I’ve always felt a type of freedom when I wrote. So thank you for letting me ramble and vent while I continue to find myself. It truly means the world to me. Thank you!

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Whatever limbo I found myself in last week is gone this week. The darkness and its friends just took off. I’m grateful they finally left. That was defiantly “Torment” difficulty in a  game mode I don’t ever want to play again. I shouldn’t have spoke to soon, because as I was writing this on my tablet I found the positive energy to get on my desktop to finish writing this. So I gathered all my ritual belongings I take with me everywhere up the stairs to the loft and plumbed myself down in from of this screen.

I don’t have a “routine” or anything when it comes to logging on my computer. I check all my social medias on my phone when I wake up in the morning, along with my emails. However today I found myself logging on to facebook and announcing that I was having a good morning.

fb status

I opened up all the tabs that I wanted to be in so I wouldn’t forget to check or update any of them. I engaged with some friends whom where really happy for me and my good day and then suddenly I couldn’t breath. My head was filled and overflowing with all these thoughts that I can’t even make out now. I ran back down the stairs and fell on the bed and cried on my boyfriends back. I was chanting “i’m ok” as I hugged him tighter and tighter. I was throwing him off guard as well as myself. He’s trying to get me to talk, asking me to calm down and tell him. I can’t figure it out. I can’t see what it was that got me so worked up. I had no triggers.. no one said nothing to me that made me feel anything negative. So what was it? When I sat up I couldn’t stop shaking my head back and forth, chanting “it was nothing” to myself over and over and over again. Even writing this out I can’t find out what it was. “It was too much.” I said. I had overwhelmed myself with “things to do” which has to be the only explanation.

Today is Monday, the started of a new week. Exactly 7 days from now I will be returning to work. Back into the “adult world”. I feel ready enough to join back into civilization but I don’t want to go. This was one of the thoughts I had while opening up a YouTube tab to listen to some calming music. Which I don’t do at all might I add- listen to music. However today I wanted to try and take my mind off the silence and create some kind of white noise. Music has too much of an emotional stick to it and everything I have on my playlists aren’t recent songs. I don’t want to remember all those feelings I had. So I just listened to some OSTs from some video games I enjoy. I couldn’t find the one I was actually looking for, and I was getting frustrated. I felt as my legs started to ache and I was sweating. (I sweat buckets on the daily actually) I was fidgeting in my seat, really building up this frustration. And when I found it finally I anticipated relief. As I go to click the play button I was ready to have the flush of pent up energy to leave me. It didn’t. I’m bouncing around still flipping through my bullet journal and I noticed I didn’t even write out this weeks spread. How could I forget this? I have so many things I need to do- I can’t forget anything! It’s just.. the only thing I remember is me wanting to go to the library and how I needed to post on this blog here. Nothing else came into view. Not a single thought or image. Nothing. When just seconds ago I was thinking about drawing some pieces for my blog posts, and what imaged I wanted to use in this specific blog post. How I can be productive reading ‘Fight Club’ and doing come chores around the house. I was drained of it all.

I still don’t know what to tell my boyfriend. Shoot I don’t even know what to tell myself except to back track to 4:46am and relax. I need to do something calming and distracting. I need to be mindful of me in this moment. Assess the situation:

“I don’t feel good.”
“What doesn’t feel good?”
“My mind.”
“Ok, lets do something to get your mind off it.”

Boom.

I’m taking a moment to smile because I didn’t know this is what I needed until I wrote it out. I need to take a moment and get in touch with my mind and body and see what she needs. What do I need right now to calm down? To relax? I’m going down the list I had made in my head and in my bullet journal: I had some water, I ate that burrito I forgot in the microwave, I reached out to someone to vent. And.. now what? More food I think. Food has always made me feel better. Which is probably why I gained all the weight I have LOL! I’m ok with it though. Food is amazing. And at this point I would put on Grey’s Anatomy while eating said food and take my mind off it. Until I felt the positive energy come back to me. The energy I need to get back on the horse and ride on.

Boom.

P.S: As soon as I wrote “Boom” to end this post, my boyfriend showed up with food and asked to eat it all with me. ❤

CREDIT: The header image of “coffee break” is not mine. Credit to this blog post here.