Yesterday I started drafting this wild post about my day. Wild as in all over the place with no sense behind it. I was angry yesterday, angry and annoyed and ready to blow. I've never felt such anger that my teeth quivered and my hands clenched. Pure genuine anger; gross. I can't tell you why … Continue reading How to deal with pent up emotions?
If you've been following me this far I've always spoke about taking care of yourself. If you need a break take it. If you need to eat but feel guilt or you "don't have enough time" eat anyways. Drink water, lots and lots of water. Do something that makes you happy because at the end … Continue reading Is there such a thing as being over-productive?
This is the best way I can put this experience to be honest with you. I felt like I was in the backseat in an awkward car ride while a friend was getting yelled at. And I couldn't help but feel that anxiety even though I wasn't the one getting in trouble. Except I wasn't … Continue reading Mental illness feels like: second hand anxiety.
Since Wednesday I've had some serious brain fog on my hands, oh and the brain of course. I remember it clearly because I felt overwhelmed with things I wanted to do but didn't know where to start. So I started to draw and paint because I've got some 8x10 canvases. I figured I would finally … Continue reading Mental illness feels like: brain fog.
Everything in my life I can’t seem to really drop. I can take out items, I can remove friends, choose were I work etc. But I can’t seem to work with family. It’s so overwhelming and is about 60% of my anxiety issue. I’m not saying my family is horrible, no, not at all. They … Continue reading Why can’t I move on?
I can’t ever compare the type of insomnia I had over the summer with the one I had last night. Because no matter how I word it, it’s just not the same. Before I would have sobbed, curled into the fetal position and weep some more. Today however, is not the case. Today even though … Continue reading Insomnia is a trigger.
It’s a new day But the emotions don’t refresh Same shit Can’t breath Stomach clentched Pop a pill To make it all end
Labored breathing is the que Quivering limbs is sign two The Unsteady mind begs for silence As the frostbite advances Sactuary does not exist Alianted by your thoughts There is no security The mind is weaponized Pull the trigger
As I’m typing this, I’m cautious pacing between the dinning room and the kitchen. I’m subconsciously making my way to the living room as well, which I didn’t know until now. The television is on and it’s agrivating to me. Like my nerves are stretched so thin, I feel as though I much just punch … Continue reading Mental illness feels like; sleepless nights
If you asked me about four years ago, why I would suddenly burst into tears or why I was tearing up, or WHY I was acting so “needy”. I honestly wouldn’t have been able to answer you. I would just say “I’m tired” or “I don’t feel good”. Emotions are just a hair ball, ya … Continue reading Mental illness feels like; random panic attacks.