Why I do, what I want to do; About me VLOG!

Hey guys!

This isn’t that far in depth about my life personally, just some moments I had that really impacted me. And I wanted to share that with y’all. I will produce one about my depression also, but since my anxiety was a big part of my life I just had too.

 

My co-host Jaja has been a huge part of me the last few months and he’s made me think about getting into an emotional support animal(s). I’ve been doing research as well on how to become a trainer for therapy animals. So weird how much love I have for him, can make me think. Love u yaya. ❤

Thanks for watching!

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Love the skin you’re in; TAG!

This is a great post for me to start on for Saturday I think! Browsing through my feed I noticed the beautiful Sophie Harris had done this “body positivity” and I’m all about that. Since I’ve been self conscious my whole life, being comfortable in my own skins means more to me then I can word. And in reference to Sophie’s blog, looks like this beauty Liliana is who started it all! Thank you for doing this!

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TAG RULES:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog in your post
  • Display the “love the skin you’re in” image.
  • Be truthful when answering the questions and don’t judge what other people have answered in their posts.
  • If you want to add any questions to this tag related to body positivity feel free to.
  • Try to nominate as many people as you can, if not everyone.

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QUESTIONS:

1. One feature you love about yourself?
One of my features that I love about me are my eyes. I adore them for the colors that they change, and I truly believe that they say when “the eyes are the window to the soul”. They are the first thing we look at, at one another. And I get compliments all the time about my eyes. I love them!

2. One feature you wish/wished you could change that you are trying to accept or have accepted?
If I was asked this before, say 3 months ago I would have told you my weight. Maybe I still think this way- since I am very aware of it. I wish I didn’t gain fat in my face, and I wish I didn’t gain fat in my midsection. I’ve been learning to love it though through clothing and accessories. AND a bathing suit. ❤

3. Have you ever thought of getting surgery to change you imperfections?
I’ve thought about enhancing my lips.. I want them to be full and plump. However I’ve never thought about changing anything else on my body. Maybe a breast lift but that was literally for a conversation and I never thought about it since. (I’ve accepted how big and well my breasts are even though they are taking my back out)

4. One of your main role models for body positivity?
I personally have no researched anyone. I know who Tess Holiday is.. but only from a facebook post. (So I really don’t know her tbh) I’ve been going all on my own about this. It’s best to be accepting and loving of your body.

5. Has a family member or friend ever put you down about your physical appearance? If so what for?
Yes, absolutely. We joke around and are really playful with one another in my household. So being called fat was a big thing for us (we are all overweight) and we used it as a grenade when we were angry or fighting. I was always singled out for my glasses as well, since I’m blind… they were always a inch thick. And it magnified my face INTENSELY and it still does. And my grandmother was big about singling out when we lost or gained weight. Ahhh, love it.

6. Something you love about your fashion sense or style?
This is something I’m still working on. However I love bright pastel girly colors, but I also love the basic fashion you see in magazines. Anyways, whatever I see I try and make it work with what I have. I’m not a fashionista in anyway. I just love cloths that I can find that fit me.

7. Why is your body a great place to be?
My body is a great place to be because it IS my temple. I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs (not illegal ones anyways) and over the last two months I’ve realized how much my body means to me. I cherish her more, and I notice all the small things now. With meditation and self care treatments.. I’ve just learned to love her. And me.

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I’m the one with the black rimmed glasses on the far left. My name is Faith and I love my body. 🙂

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@afracturedfaith!

@Brenana!

@feliefelspages!

@Neuro Rebel!

 

Depression: Turns out I can’t do it.

Once again, this week was my first week back to work. And in the beginning it was going well. I felt good the first day- I was able to ease in without having to deal with people. Just follow a to-do list and have it done before I leave. Boom, had it done. Day two is fuzzy to me now. I was frustrated that I was getting a lot of returns on jobs and how they were done wrong. So I spoke about it to my boss. Which is what inspired my last post ( Work place gossip; stand up for yourself. ) and as you can see I felt.. iffy. And then Wednesday came along and I left it. I was exhausted and didn’t want to go in, but I did it anyways. I went in and tried to keep it as healthy as I could. Not positive, because that would have been TOO much to handle, so I just worked on being as “good” as I could be. And it didn’t work out.

I didn’t take the time to take my breaks for my meditation, I didn’t take time to even tend to myself. And I see that now. However at that time I didn’t. I’m trying not to judge myself and tear myself down.. but it’s so hard. It’s so difficult not too. So I did what I knew best, I called out. I didn’t show up to work on Thursday OR today. (Friday) And.. sadly enough I felt great not going. I felt great not going. I visited the happy house in Wednesday too, and we talked about some stuff that I can kinda see now. However that’s for this weeks happy house post. So yesterday- I went crazy. I was so FULL of great energy so I researched and updated my about me page ( About In the life of Faith ) I worked on my next YouTube video I did some edits, I mean I DID things! Things I wanted to do. I love love love love LOVE that feeling. THIS feeling! Feeling of freedom.. feeling of being open to do what I want.. but saying that makes me feel selfish. I’m clearly in lala land, but I don’t want to leave. This is my happy place- this is my bubble. Please don’t make me leave.

I don’t have regrets and I want to move forward. But I can’t see how. How can I still be me and make a living without killing myself.

lake and trees stock photo

p.s i love this type of scenery. and the rain. love love love trees and stormy weather.