The best self care day yet. 

The more that time goes on the more I understand that I’m ready for anything. I’m ready to defend, I’m ready to advocate, and I’m ready to teach others about the importance of mental health. And I was able to do that for the first time in public while fulfilling a phone upgrade. 

Now before I go on to what happened I just wanted to say that the whole two hours I spent in this store was amazing. We talked about some personal events, college, goals and how we like to treat people. We talked about anime and he even brought over so of his coworkers! It was one of the best experiences for my book. 

The dude that had assisted me was very professional and sweet at the same time. He asked me what I would be doing with my phone. And I replied with that I had a blog, and a YouTube channel that I would be focusing on primarily. He was very interested to know what it was that I worked in. I told him that I’m working with *waves hand* this blog. And how I want to learn myself more and teach others, and help them any way I can through those two platforms. 

He looked me in the eye and said “I’m so happy for you. Thank you for doing what you do, and I’m glad to see you’re still here with us.” At first I was confused. Why would he say that? As those few seconds passed for me to respond it hit me. This person associated mental health and suicide as one thing. Which, you probably already guessed it- but I told him he was all wrong about it. 

I went on about my life story, and what happened to me this year. What I went through was difficult. However, I only had suicidal thoughts. And because of my research I knew the signs. I knew how to help myself and I knew what I needed to do if it came to it. Thankfully it never happened. Those 6 days made me thankful- but also eye opening. Because that’s more then likely the exact whispers people hear when they contemplate dying by suicide. I understood it. Which is why I  pursued my TWLOHA suicide prevention kit so I could inform and teach others and support them the best to my abilities. 

I had to clear it all up for him. No, I didn’t want to die. No, I wasn’t someone that was limited resources and information.  Yes I have some mental disorders. No they do not define me. And no, mental health and suicide aren’t the same. They are neighbors that don’t ever speak to each other at first. Until suddenly there is a knock at the door boom. Instantly best friends. At least this is what I’ve also thought about it. I believe people can be suicidal without a mental illness or disorder. I’ve never once thought “oh they are depressed? I wonder if they ever thought about dying by suicide to nhelp d their suffering. “ not once. Although in that moment of silence, I never once thought he said it in a negative way. He was expressing his only knowledge of the subjects. 

The best part was he was very interested. It made me very happy to see someone so passionately, genuinely interested. It was a learning moment for not only him, but myself included. 

I was sad to leave because I felt like I had a friendship with this person (and the friend he brought in to talk about anime). Writing about it now gives me the urge to go back just to say hi. 

I ended my day with a refreshing hair cut. A trip to the mall where I got some work shoes and some new jewelry for my piercings. I was in high spirits all day. 🙂 

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