Today was my first day back at work after being gone for six weeks! I was extremely nervous to show up today, not knowing what to expect. And in all honestly, I wasn’t willing to work. I just wanted to stay home- even though I desperately needed something to do.
I didn’t have much of a routine like I wanted to this morning. The night before I had the urge to pick-up my room a little bit. And if you’re like me, you’ll get half way through it, sit down, and then lose all motivation to finish what you started. I told myself it would be wise to make a tiny to-do list to make myself feel better in the morning. Since I’m only working 6 hour shifts, I talked myself into thinking there would be “enough time” but there wasn’t. (HA) I ended up taking up most of my time just getting ready.
Overall today was a very stress free day. I was able to just focus on things that needed attention (machine status and order supplies) and some training. Working with some customers but not to many. It was such a good feeling. Some stuff had changed since I’ve been gone- which I’m surprised on. People leaving, some very quick updates on some policies and how we process items. And all the while, I felt no pressure. No “hurry and get this done”. No anxiousness. I shouldn’t soak to much of this in. I have a feeling I won’t feel this good for long.
Today also made me realize that I just want to stay home and not to anything. Just have the freedom to do the things I want when I’m ready. This feeling makes me want to work harder on the things I really want to do. Which is my blog and youtube and school. Knowing what you really want to do with your life is the best feeling ever. And I’m going to have to work very, very hard for these goals. I want to create my own lifestyle, doing all the things I want to do. Which is mostly reading, writing and drawing. And my new found- blogging and vlogging.
I told myself I had to write today because I felt great. However I spent the last three hours recording and editing (and reposting) my first youtube video which you can find here! I still have to post “week six” as well. It was a tough session and we didn’t talk much. So stay tuned for that post sometime tomorrow! (It’s midnight now. It’s been two weeks since I’ve stayed up this late!! )
Have y’all ever felt like you “belonged”? Or found the exact “thing” you never thought you’d do?