It’s a comeback!

Not much of an overall update, but I wanted to say that I’ve reopened Crafting Mindfully and I’m very excited!!

You can find my shop here! Crafting Mindfully

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Crafting Mindfully Etsy Shop!

Hey guys! I’ve mentioned this vaguely over the last few months on my YouTube on how I wanted to make an Etsy shop.

Once I found my name I slowly put it together. As of this week, my Etsy store is officially open!!

I’ve been thinking about looking for promoters as well! I would send you some material and business cards/handouts to bring people to my shop! If you’re interested contact me via Facebook @ facebook.com/craftingmindfully this is all for free of course! In exchange for whatever you’d like, you could promote. ♥️

Check out my shop here!


10 things to start right now to improve your day! 

When you’re in a routine, it’s typically a challenge to see outside your box. Especially if you’re dealing with some mixed emotions. It’s really hard to identify them while carrying on your day. Or maybe you experience more stressful days and want some relief. These small tasks can help with that!

  1. Smile at others. Smiling is contagious and not only will it make you feel better. But seeing someone else smile back at you is very rewarding.
  2. Take a moment to be grateful. Reflect on your body and thank it for all its hard work. Thank yourself for all your hard work also. Be grateful for another day at the office, and grateful for coffee. 😉
  3. Grab a bottle of water and drink the whole bottle. Water should be your best friend, so don’t ignore her! Water has been proven to improve body and mind.
  4. Show extra kindness to strangers. Open/hold the door open for someone. Ask someone how their day is going! Buy someone at the office coffee!
  5. Practice some self-care. If you need to take a break to get something special to eat do it! Want to take yourself out to the movies, but just couldn’t find the time? Do it today! You are special too, and you need to give yourself some extra attention. Your happiness is important also.
  6. Sign up for this free guided meditation app. They are 5 minutes long, and I promise it will increase not only production but your overall mood for the day.
  7. Spend an hour off your phone. Studies show that being so attached to our phones (or any electronic device for that matter) is actually unhealthy. Taking a moment to enjoy your surroundings and people watch is a nice improvement.
  8. Try something new today. Whether it’s taking a different route to work or on the way home. Too asking someone their name! Take a walk around a park you’ve never been to. Try a new dish at a new restaurant!
  9. Don’t dive into gossip. This is very important because it reflects on your character. And it also sets the tone of the day. Itching to gossip can stir up unnecessary drama which leads to negative thoughts and comments. We don’t want any negativity. Be honest and turn down the discussion by switching topics.
  10. Be creative! Take a moment to make something either for yourself or for others! Can be a poem, a short story or origami! Take a moment to do an adult coloring session from an app or online! Being creative sparks good energy and gets your brain flowing!

I bet by the time you do half of these you’ll feel a great source of warmth in your tummy. You should also strive to take care of yourself and others. While being aware of when to reflect, be thankful and relax.

I hope this helps you in the most beautiful way possible.

Much love, Faith. 💕

Let’s do that blog thing

Do you know what people say when you first start a blog? Read other blogs. Find out what others are doing, find out how they do things and learn from them.

Ive actually only ever read about 12 other people’s blog if that. I remember going on Stephanie Meyers website, when I was about 13-14 just so I could read her blog updates about her writing. It was such a big deal for me, to log on everyday to see if anything new posted. After that I found myself on Pinterest, where an obscene amount of bloggers post their content on. It lead me to so many resources and how to’s- I mean if you’ve never been on Pinterest, you’re missing out.

However, I still don’t actively visit other sites/blogs. There are some on this wonderful site that I venture too every now and then. Especially if I have email updates but that’s it.

How influential is that? Like, let me ask you. Why do you read my stuff? What’s the point of blogging? What’s the structure of blogging? What do I give that benefits others? These are things that hold me back from my own blogging. I never feel like I’m good enough- and that someone, out there, is way more influential than me. Or more resourceful. Or just- better. These thoughts are just irrational, yes, but also deliberating.

I found out that I like to blog, to write, and I like to write, to get things off my chest. So why not do it in a public setting so others can see, relate, and know they are not alone in their thoughts. That’s helpful, right? To feel like you’re not alone?

My mind tried to shovel this random- loneliness into this random sink hole that I never knew existed in my brain daily. It’s exhausting, and I constantly need validation which is also exhausting. Which is how my blogging started and came to be. I’m very bad with commitment, especially if I’m depressed. And I found that’s the case in my blogging to. I’ve always wanted to take it seriously- I did in the beginning. But once I found other ways to vent, and heal, it was like I didn’t need it anymore.

So what about everyone else? What about the people that do read my stuff? And actually want to see more of it? Well, I’m not sure. But I’m trying. I’m trying to keep going, I’m trying to commit and I’m working on being happy.

So what do you think? What did you like about my blog? If you had one question to ask me, what would it be? Let me know in the comments below, or message me!


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Whoa what a week!

Hey guys! Did anyone see the blood moon we had last night?? Yeah, I was awake for that around 10-11pm. Even though I had to be up and ready for work around 5am. (I was out the door around 5:40, oops!) I figured I’d taken the time to write, seeing as I have an extended lunch today!

So last week was a difficult week for me, and I mean difficult. I was feeling all sorts of emotions at once and I was always on edge. Each day was a new day but my feelings remained the same. It’s like my anxiety came back and kicked down the door and said “yeah I’m staying here”. And because I’m not that kind of person to: one, have people over. And two, let strangers into my home like that! I was almost fist fighting with that devil, I wanted her gone so bad.

Being on edge was horrible. I was either close to tears or felt empty. I wanted to scream and punch something or just stare at the wall. Most of the time I zoned out and stared at the wall. My anxiety churned everyday to where I wanted to throw up every morning and before bed. Sleeping was almost non existent thanks to those the stomach nerves. I went two days without sleeping and during those times I wanted it to end.

Continuing on, I had issues pop up with my new team lead, which I’m still thinking about today. Even though this happened a week ago, I can’t seem to let go of her words. She made the comment about how, if I’m going through a hard time I should let her know. But I was irritated because I was ok that day, and her constantly asking if I’m ok wasn’t helpful. I told her that I’m a grown adult and I knew how to ask for help, or tell someone I needed help. I know how to communicate. But she wasn’t listening to me when I told her that information. I was honest and told her I was depressed and I’m learning to live and deal with what’s on my plate. And she said “I get it, I’ve been there. But you need to learn to separate it all. ” and I lost it. I shut down and just nodded to her saying yes, of course, yadda yadda. Because she didn’t understand. She only knew that I was struggling and she came off like she didn’t want me to work with her. So I let her be.

Now mind you I am skipping some parts so I’ll do my best to include everything. But I was out of work for three weeks because of “vertigo”. I had this terrible episode December 3rd, 2018 and it took me not only all of that month but also the first week of January to heal up. I have been working with this new company since September, so I haven’t been here long. So when I returned everything changed. New team lead, new supervisor and new changes. Normally I would be ok with this, but I was given a really hard time last week when I came back because I was, quote, “not competent enough to do my job”.

Hearing that was definitely one of the biggest stressors I’ve had from last year. I had worked so hard in everything I’ve done, I was appalled to hear this woman say that. She I told her I had no training she didn’t even hesitate in her response. “Oh.” As if her light bulb exploded or something she just continues to sit there. Judging me. (At least that’s how it felt).

This woman is also the one that called 911 for me when I had my episode back in December. I thought she would be compassionate for me, advocate for me, and even be empathetic. But I didn’t sense any of those. The conversation continues on about how I needed to perform better, and keep up the pace with the standards given or I wouldn’t be able to “maintain” my job as a phlebotomist. Heartbroken.

Now only am I still adjusting to my current “condition” and living my day to day life my work is also pressuring me in way I never thought would happen to me. When I had spoken to my HR they had worded it weirdly. But they do had said the same thing. If you can’t perform the duties at hand, then I’m sorry. Underlined. I’m not as sick as I was before, but Im not getting any slack here. I’m still trying to accept what has happened.

Not to fret, currently I’m undergoing “training” and we will see how things go from here. Because I’m on medication restrictions I’m not practicing phlebotomy until I’m 100%, and I have a follow up with my doctor next week about how things are going.

Good-bye 2018, a recap.

I can’t believe another year has gone, and how I haven’t written much at all during 2018. I’ve been trying to piece together something to post before my New Years post. I’ve kept to myself since I started school and even more so when I began my career. However, I think it’s time to recap 2018 for you guys.

I started this blog originally to ‘help’ spread information about mental health, and how I wanted to include my own personal life living with mental health disorders. I wrote about my bad times, therapy, medication, and my feelings.

Once I started to come out of my depression hibernation I felt myself change. I felt like what I was doing wasn’t much in the terms of why I started my blog and focused on my life. Doing the small things I’ve always wanted to do.

In March, I enrolled into high school education course that made me eligible to earn my high school diploma- no strings attached. Read here about that.

As soon as I was done with my high school diploma I was granted access to college courses!! Of course, I went to trade school because I’ve always wanted to be a phlebotomist. I never wrote much about school and I do regret it a bit. But it was a fast pace environment and I didn’t know what to do! Anyways, I’m three months time I had graduated my course with not only perfect attendance but with honors. I was so happy with all of my hard work.

What made everything come together was how I was able to secure my job while still in school. I was hired on at the end of my externship and I’ve been working as a phlebotomist since September.

Last but not lease on my list for 2018 was moving out of my parents house and into my own apartment. It was such a freedom knowing I had my own, hardworking house, food, and everything else I ever wanted in my hands. My own space, my own happy bubble. My boyfriend and I (along with my best friend) have lived here for three months now!

All of the other stuff for 2018 are pretty minuscule but still have meaning.

  • I kept up with my bullet journal for more then half the year. (During school I didn’t use it as much)
  • I eventually did start going to the gym in December!
  • I did read over 5 books this year, even tho my reading list is almost two pages worth.
  • A lot of mental gain and triumphs when I started my career.
  • Relationship growth, because my boyfriend and I are still kids at heart we are learning more about each other as we begin to change into “actual” adulthood.
  • I’ve kept up with what I preach. Rest when need too, seek help when need to, and love myself.

Keep on the look out for my 2019 New Years post!


Etsy|Facebook MH group!|Twitter|Instagram|YouTube|

What’s been going on? Mid-year update.

I can’t believe we’re already into July, I still feel like it’s March to be completely honest with you. I’ve found writing down my day, and writing about my feelings is a chore, once again. I really need to work on this because blogging is something I really enjoy, but damn me, ya know? Remember how I wrote about it here: What to expect from In The Life Of Faith, 2018. on how I wanted to write more in this year? I’m laughing at myself now because I’ve only written 18 posts since then. I didn’t even do a one-year anniversary post! Blah regrets all around now. Oh well! Now I’ve said it, time to move on.

What’s been going on since the new year started:

If you’ve been reading up or backtracking my posts here are some of my favorite accomplishments I’ve done. One was getting my high school diploma. this is still something I’m very proud of. I’ve actually been debating on schools to go too!

I’ve decided I want to go to school for cultural studies- Asian cultural studies to be exact at my state university. For as long as I could remember I felt this burning passion to work in the mental health field but now? It’s not burning as much. Now that I’m in the medical field things are different and on my friend time, I find that I love spending it learning. I want to learn about the outside world, foreign cultures, and learn languages. I did make a post about learning Japanese, but I can’t seem to find it. (Maybe it’s a draft post, oops!)

I’ve taken more time to be myself and do the things I want to do. I still crochet, I still draw and paint, and currently back into Pokemon Go! I’ve been at it for the last two weeks now, and I’m excited to write about how much it’s helping me. I’ve spent more time in the kitchen as well, making the dishes I’ve always wanted to make. And I’ve been getting out more in general. I’ve been trying to make friends and be happy with myself sociably. It’s different when you’re behind a computer screen, people develop this idea about who and how you are in person. I want to be me, but also what people think they see me as. Oh, and I still love my Netflix and Chill days. 🙂

Currently:

I’ve completed all of my physical classes for phlebotomy, and I’ve moved onto my externship. I’m into week two out of four and I’m not enjoying it at all. I don’t want to say too much, because I’ve just started here and it could get better, however, I don’t like it at all. This is not the place for me and that’s ok! I’m just so proud of myself, that I could realize it all.

I’ve been really into Pokemon Go, it’s been keeping me really active! I’ve been trying to get my 10k steps in a day, but because I can’t have any electronics on me (even a watch) it’s hard for me to keep track while at work.

Time for me has been scarce because I’m working 50 hour weeks right now, but I hope it all dies down once I’m done with my externship.

Current Goals:

  • I want to go back to school in the Spring of 2019 as I mentioned before.
  • I want to lose 10lbs before the holidays.
  • Love myself more.

 

I hope your summer is going great! Thanks for reading!


 

Etsy|Facebook MH group!|Twitter|Instagram|YouTube|

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Time for an update

Lately, I’ve scarcely posted about my mental health and how I personally have been doing vs my accomplishments. I still fee tied to my original idea of helping those struggling with mental health problems and sharing my life. So here we go.

I actually stopped taking my medication. Yup, this is a huge thing for me. Two weeks ago, I noticed that my anxiety dwindled to small things. I no longer felt like I needed medication to help me through my days anymore. Let me explain.

Before medication I was constantly triggered. If someone made a comment about ‘x’ persons cloths or how they acted I would automatically assume they were making those comments towards me, and the person didn’t know how to tell me. When I got food I felt like everyone stopped what they were doing to turn and watch me as I ordered a large sum of fast food. I felt guilty getting more than I should when at my favorite fast food place. I also felt like the people around me were silently judging me.

I was always stressed. Stress is a typical thing in a humans life, and it all depends on how we handle that stress. Stress induced my anxiety. Living my life to a very low standard made me stressful. I hated my life so much it gave me anxiety. This was my major trigger. I hated myself so much it gave me anxiety.

My low self esteem also fueled my anxiety. At one point I hated how “huge” I was. I hated trying to put on my cloths and noticing that they didn’t fit at all. I hated how my arms jiggled, how I have a minor hunched back. Even the fact that I wear glasses and how I don’t look attractive without my glasses. I just hated how I look. And that caused anxiety.

How I actually handled my anxiety though? Well for starters I cried. Scratch that, I sobbed. I sobbed all the time, when I went to sleep, when I woke up, even in the middle of the night I would wake up crying for no reason. I had nightmares, I ate a lot of food to help feel better. I bottled in all of my emotions, I felt trapped by my own throat unable to actually speak my mind. I gave in to negative self talk to the point I thought the negative thoughts were positive self talk. Yeah, you read that right. My body would shake uncontrollably at random times. I sweated profusely, even though at times I felt confident. And the worse one of all, I isolated myself. When I felt like I couldn’t speak, it got so bad that I felt like communicating was a chore. My anxiety turned into depression.

And now? I don’t do nearly as much, if not all of these anymore. Yes my frustrating leads to anxiety sometimes but I’ve learned ways to deal with it. I’ve now learned how to deal with my anxiety. The biggest accomplishment to myself is no longer feeling like a loser. I’m finally making myself into something and it’s a huge weight off of my shoulders. But it’s not the most significant part of my recovery.

The significant part is actually gaining confidence. Being able to talk about my problems, telling people when I’m uncomfortable and learning to not shut myself out. I actually love my body (and hate it sometimes) in a positive way. I don’t give myself negative talks, I actually do the opposite. I feel like myself again. I actually feel like the person I was always meant to be is finally emerging.

Like I said, I’m not cured and I’m still a long bit away but I’m confident enough to not be on medication anymore for the time being. And I feel like more personal growth will eventually take me to where I want to be.

Here are some of the things I do now that helps me out each day:

  • Hygiene, brushing teeth, face, hair, trimming nails, face masks and deep containing my hair. Doing these things daily and weekly makes me feel good, and give me energy. These are all habits of mine now, and it’s like an internal clock. I have to do most of these things before bed or I can’t sleep until I do.
  • Wear makeup or something nice. Looking good on the outside means feeling good on the inside. Wearing makeup really gives me energy because feeling pretty is the best. 🙂
  • Laying out a schedule. I’m not the punctual type person, but if I layout a good foundation of what needs to be done each day, those accomplishments really give me the sense of “I did something today! I’m not lazy!” It also helps me understand how I spend my time. In the beginning, I always wrote about how I felt “trapped” when I wanted to do things with my day. I wasn’t able to make up my mind on what I wanted to do. Scheduling helps with that!
  • Getting out of the house. Most of the time when I leave the house it’s because of school. So I try to make an effort of going on a walk during day light to the mailbox (got to get that vitamin D!) and then a 20 minutes walk at night.
  • Talking about my feelings. This is tricky and I know it. Finding out what works best for you is key. I started this blog and posted all over my Facebook about my recovery. Just knowing that my feelings where out of my head made me feel so much better. If you’re not that type of person, the I suggest a journal, and talking to a close friend or parent about how you’re feeling. I promise, once you “get it out” it’s like a weight is off your shoulders.
  • Make time for yourself. This is very very simple. Take x amount of time out of your day or week and do whatever it is you’ve been putting off. Go see that movie, take yourself out to a restaurant or eat at your favorite fast food joint. Buy that poster or cute planner. Maybe just sit at home and binge a show you’ve been wanting to watch. Or maybe you what to meet up with a friend. Whatever it it, do it for you.

Remember, you are worth it. You are fighting a battle that is difficult but winnable. You will get better. You can do it. Not every day is a bad day, no matter how much you feel like it is. You are worth it.


After hours: insomnia

I can’t tell if this is good or bad insomnia. Good morning I can’t sleep because I want to study and learn things. Or this insomnia being bad because I honestly just can’t sleep. Maybe it’s bad because I’m combining the two together! (I hope not)

My sleeping in general doesn’t have the best track record, but I’m taking major steps in hoping I can actually get to sleep faster and feeling rested. This week I’ve started walking and doing 3-5 minutes cardio exercises. The work out feels amazing, and being overweight has many negative side affects. So I’m hoping that shredding some beef will help with my sleep. It also does make me physical tired to the point I’m ready to sleep on the ground in my workout gear. But it’s been iffy, some nights I sleep without a problem before midnight and others I’m wide awake until 3am regardless of being physically tired.

I’m trying to stop eating after a certain time in the evening as well. It’s said you should eat after 6pm? Or maybe it’s 8pm I’m not sure. I’m trying not to eat after 9, 10 at the latest. Over the last three years I’ve had this huge urge to eat, I’m talking about waking up from a dead sleep, going into the kitchen and make something to eat with my eyes still closed. It’s typically sweets or something that’s in a bag. Or a sandwich!! It’s really funny but god awful. I’m working on drinking as much fluids as I can after 10 to stunt the “bored food craving”. It’s been hard because I really want seconds of dinner or a frozen pizza (really bad) before bed and when I don’t eat it I get all agitated. Who wants to deal with that kind of person???? I know I don’t, and I’m the one doing it!

I’m also trying to stay off my phone for a large sum of time before bed. In case you didn’t know, being on your phone before bed created a ton of stimuli, which keeps the body awake and wanting the urge to stay scrolling on your phone longer. Your brain doesn’t get the proper rest it needs. Same with sleeping with the tv on, I stopped doing that a year ago and that’s significantly helped. Sometimes I do leave the tv on if my anxiety is high and I don’t want to feel alone. The noise calms me down.

Anyways, this is all from week one of doing these small things. I don’t have instant results yet, but I’m confident these will help me in a few weeks. If you have any suggestions let me know!!


Etsy|Facebook MH group!|Twitter|Instagram|YouTube| 

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